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Television:
The Andy Griffith Show
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Don Knotts as Barney Fife: "They're doin' an awful lot with ESP these days."
George Lindsey as Goober: "Whatsat?"
Knotts: "ESP? Extra Sensitive Perception."
Woman: "You have the clearest, bluest, most honest eyes. Oh, they're wonderfully clear and blue."
Howard McNear as Floyd Lawson: "Uh, yes. They're sort of an azure."
Don Knotts: "Well, did you know that the size of a horse's eyes are the same at birth as they are when he's fully grown?"
Don Knotts: "Well, it's famous stuff. A lot of celebrities use that. Radio announcers and everything."
Don Knotts: "Well, I'm fed up, too! I'm sick of the whole thing, too!"
Don Knotts: "I feel sorry for you, baby. You had your chance to fly with me, but you wasn't woman enough. Now the balloon's going up withoutcha."
Theme song.
Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle: "See ya, Ope. Tell your Aunt Bee Gomer says hey!"
Howard McNear as Floyd: "Maude? Al... those hamburgers are ruined! I won't be responsible."
Don Knotts: "Well, I'm fed up, too. I'm sick of the whole thing, too. You try to bring two people together, and what do you get? Heartaches!"
Andy Griffith as Sherrif Andy Taylor: "Let's just go home then."
Don Knotts: "Home, that's right, home! A man spends money getting his suit spotted and pressed, takes two hours polishing his hat, and for what? Heartaches!"
Don Knotts: "Inside that man's body is a little child calling out for help. 'Help me, help me!' he's saying."
Jim Nabors: "Hey, Andy!"
Andy Griffith: "Hey, Gomer."
Nabors: "Hey, Aunt Bee."
Frances Bavier as Aunt Bee: "Hey, Gomer."
Nabors: "Hey, Opie."
Ron Howard as Opie Taylor: "Hey, Gomer."
Jim Nabors: "Hey, Andy!"
Andy Griffith: "Hey, Gomer."
Nabors: "Say hey to my cousin Goober."
Griffith: "Hey, Goober."
George Lindsey: "Hey, Andy!"
Don Knotts: "Sara? Get me Thelma Lou, willya? ... Oh, hi, Thel. Big Barn."
Don Knotts: "Jab, jab, chop, smack!"
George Lindsey: "Listen ... Judy, Judy, Judy!"
Howard McNear as Floyd: "Cary Grant say that?"
Lindsey: "Yeah."
McNear, pauses: "What was he drivin' at?"
George Lindsey: "Cary Grant ... Judy, Judy, Judy."
Andy Griffith: "There's a letter here for you!"
Andy Griffith: "Barney, you wouldn't know something about this, would you?"
Don Knotts using a silly voice: "Well, maybe I would, and then again, maybe I wouldn't."
Don Knotts: "My fast draw's never been successfully photographed. All they've been able to get so far is a sort of a blur."
Andy Griffith: "I'm gonna tell you something, Ope. And I want you to listen real careful. You're my young 'un. And I love you more than anything or anybody in the whole world. And nothing or nobody can ever change that."
Don Knotts: "I'm Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife...although I do have a nickname I've been stuck with and can't seem to lose... Fast Gun Fife."
Don Knotts: "Now the minute it looks like there's gonna be trouble, we got to nip it! Nip it in the bud! You got that? Let's hear it!"
Floyd and others: "Nip it in the bud!"
Don Knotts: "Nip it in the bud! You got to nip it in the bud! ... Nip it! You go read any book you want on the subject of child discipline, and you'll find that every one of 'em is in favor of bud-nippin'... Only one way to take care of it."
Andy Griffith: "Nip it."
Knotts: "In the bud."
Don Knotts: "Nip it, nip it in the bud."
Don Knotts: "He's a first-rate, grade-A, number-one nut."
George Lindsey: "You know, Andy, Barney's a wonderful fella, but sometimes I just don't understand 'im, do you?"
Andy Griffith: "Yeah. He's a nut."
Don Knotts: "Boy, the guy that wrote that must've been some kind of a nut!"
Phone rings.
Ron Howard: "Sheriff's office. This is the sheriff's son, Opie Taylor, speaking."
Jim Nabors: "I could be an owl and go, 'Hoo, hoo!' "
Howard McNear as Floyd: "Well, you're just... Ya know what you are, Andy? You're a prince of a fella, that's what you, uh, uh, a prince. A prince! A prince, now that's what you... a prince."
Don Knotts: "You wear a ruby ring and ride an old horse, the horse'll go mad."
Andy Griffith: "I'll see ya!"
Andy Griffith: "Uh, we'll, uh, we'll see, we'll see ya, Goob."
George Lindsey as Goober Pyle: "Okay. See ya, Andy. <Ckchhhh!>"
Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle: "Shazam!"
Jim Nabors: "Shazam!"
Jim Nabors: "Shazam!"
Don Knotts: "Well, Mayberry's just gonna turn into a regular sin town!"
Andy Griffith: "Hey, Barn, suppose they asked you to sing a capella. What would you do?"
Don Knotts: "Well, I'd do it! (singing) A capella, a capella..."
Don Knotts: " 'So deep a friendship hath one man for another that no female caress shall ever tear it asunder.' Boy, the guy that wrote that must've been some kind of a nut!"
Jim Nabors: "My cousin Goober ain't stupid. He's ugly, but he ain't stupid."
Don Knotts: "Now you're puttin' me on. You're tryin' to rile me so you can see that vein on my neck stick out. You like that, don'tcha?"
Frances Bavier as Aunt Bee: "Silence is my game, mum's my name... Tick a lock!"
Denver Pyle as Mr. Darling: "Got time to breathe, got time for music."
Don Knotts: "We don't know everything, Andy. There's plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don't know anything about, and I think we oughta stay clear!"
Don Knotts: "Comin', Ange?"
Andy Griffith: "When this is over, I'm gonna kill you."
Don Knotts: "A wink's as good as a nod to a blind mule."
Don Knotts: "You beat everything, ya know that?"
Don Knotts: "Next thing ya know they'll be on motorcycles, and wearin' them leather jackets, and zoomin' around. They'll take over the whole town – a reign of terror."
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Andy Griffith, page 1
