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Television:
Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry Seinfeld: "Are we finished?"
Michael Richards as Kramer: "Done."
Michael Richards: "Will you stop it, man? You're freakin' me out!"
Seinfeld: "I mean this thing is really freakin' me out."
Seinfeld: "Well, what are friends for?"
Seinfeld: "Fungicide... I mean what could she have?"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine: "I don't know."
Michael Richards: "Fungus."
Seinfeld: "Exactly."
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine: "Get out!"
Michael Richards: "Giddy-up."
Seinfeld: "It's go-time."
Wayne Knight as Newman: "That's good stuff."
Seinfeld: "Oh ... Hello."
Jason Alexander as George: "Hello!"
Seinfeld: "Hello!"
Michael Richards: "Oh, c'mon, man. Help a brother out."
Jason Alexander: "How hard could it be?"
Michael Richards: "Cuz I'm like ice, buddy. When I don't like you, you got problems."
Seinfeld: "Oh, yeah, I like this idea."
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Well, that's because you're an idiot."
Seinfeld: "To the Idiot-mobile!"
Seinfeld: "Are you insane?"
Seinfeld: "Well, let's start the insanity."
Seinfeld: "Oh, I gotta get on that Internet. I'm late on everything!"
Jason Alexander: "Did you ask her?"
Seinfeld: "I tried putting her hand there, but she just pulls it away immediately. She's not into it."
Wayne Knight: "One large jambalaya, please."
Wayne Knight: "Jambalaya!"
Seinfeld: "I'm a joke maker."
Michael Richards: "I have this... power."
Latvian Orthodox priest: "Yes... Kervorka."
Richards: "Kervorka?"
Priest: "It is a Latvian word. It means 'the lure of the animal.' Women are drawn to you. She would give anything to be possessed by you."
Seinfeld: "The Kervorka? What is that?"
Michael Richards: "The lure of the animal."
Jason Alexander: "What kind of a person are you?"
Seinfeld: "I think I'm pretty much like you... only successful."
Seinfeld: "There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are."
Jason Alexander: "Jerry, just remember... It's not a lie if you believe it."
Jodi: "I really don't like him."
Seinfeld: "Yeah, me either."
Jason Alexander: "So, she doesn't like me."
Seinfeld: "No."
Alexander: "She said that?"
Seinfeld: "Yes."
Alexander: "She told you she doesn't like me?"
Seinfeld: "Yes."
Alexander: "What were her exact words?"
Seinfeld: <interrupting> " 'I don't like him.' "
Karen: "Well, what difference does it make? Who cares if she doesn't like you? Does everybody in the world have to like you?"
Jason Alexander: "Yes! Yes! Everybody has to like me! I must be liked!"
Karen: "Well, now I hate you!"
Michael Richards: "Now, what does the little man inside you say?... See, you gotta listen to the little man."
Jason Alexander: "My little man doesn't know."
Richards: "The little man knows all!"
Alexander: "My little man's an idiot!"
Seinfeld: "Seems like a long time, doesn't it?"
Wayne Knight: "Love is a spice with many tastes... a dizzying array of textures... and moments."
Wayne Knight: "Ah, yes... forbidden love."
Seinfeld: "We've made a lot of friends, shared a lot of laughs... often at the expense of others."
Seinfeld: "Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard!"
Seinfeld: "Ya didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex?... That's the best feature of the heavy relationship."
Jason Alexander: "Heh! I missed out on the make-up sex!"
Seinfeld: "Ya know, that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts."
Michael Richards: "I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage? Family?"
Seinfeld: "Well ..."
Richards: "They're prisons! Man-made prisons! You're doin' time! You get up in the morning – she's there. You go to sleep at night – she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to, to use the bathroom... Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?"
Seinfeld: "Really?"
Richards: "Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you're eating... because it's dinner time. Ya know what ya do at dinner?"
Seinfeld: "What."
Richards: "You talk about your day... How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know. How 'bout you? How was your day?"
Seinfeld: "I'm glad we had this talk."
Richards: "Oh, you have no idea!"
Michael Richards: "So, you're still master of your domain."
Seinfeld: "Yes. Yes, I am."
Seinfeld: "The question is... are you still master of your domain?"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "I'm queen of the castle."
Jason Alexander: "Well, I, uh, I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, believe it's menage a trois?"
Seinfeld: "He's a male bimbo... He's a mimbo."
Michael Richards: "Ahhhh... the motherlode."
Michael Richards: "There's a naked woman across the street."
Jason Alexander: "Did you see the way she was looking at me?"
Seinfeld: "She's a Nazi, George! A Nazi!"
Alexander: "I know, I know."
Wayne Knight: "Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld: "Hello, Newman."
Seinfeld: "Hello, Newman."
Wayne Knight: "Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld: "Oh, I know the chunky that left these Chunkies... Newman!"
Music: Fade-in theme.
Sfx: Door knock.
Seinfeld: "Newman! Open the door, Newman, I know you're in there!"
Wayne Knight: "Hello, Jerry. What a pleasant surprise."
Seinfeld: "There's nothing pleasant about it. Now let's just cut the crap!"
Wayne Knight: "Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld: "Hello, Newman."
Wayne Knight: "Goodnight ... Jerry."
Seinfeld: "Goodnight ... Newman."
Jason Alexander: "No, no, no, no, no."
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