Television:
South Park

"Alabama Man" commercial.

Mr. Garrison: "I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?"

Kyle: "I don't wanna ask Mr. Hat; I'm asking you!"

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, I think you should ask Mr. Hat."

Kyle: <pause> "Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?"

Mr. Hat: "Well, Kyle ... No! You hear me? You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"

Mr. Garrison: "Hmmm. Guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle."

Kyle: "Dammit!"

Cartman: "Ha ha! Mr. Hat yelled at you."

Cartman singing: "It's my birthday, my b-b-b-birthday!"

Cartman: "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like, 'Hey! You get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen! And make me some pie!' "

Chef sings a song about how everyone should like everyone else.

Bus driver: "What the hell is this crap?!"

Jesus: "This is the most crucial and serious time... of all history."

Music we hear when Damien gets irate.

Mr. Mackey: "Now as I was saying, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad, mkay? It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, mkay? That'd be bad, because drugs are bad, mkay?"

Stan's uncle: "Now that is a man who's eaten a lot of beef!"

Damien: "Everybody hates me."

Ms. Choksondik: "Well, well, well. I'd say somebody has some explaining to do."

Cartman: "You're damned right they do!"

Sfx: Fart.

Philip: "Aw, Terrance! You farted in court!"

Terrance: "Yes, Philip. I'm making a case for our defense!"

Both: "Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Fast version of "South Park" theme song.

Kyle's mom: "Kyle, what are you talking about?"

Kyle: "And you... you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you understand that us males are defined by our firemen?"

Cartman: "Yes, the fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye."

Malcolm McDowell: "Until next time, I'm a British person. Good night."

Chef: "Hello there, children!"

Stan: "Hey, Chef."

Chef: "How's it goin'?"

Cartman: "Hey!"

Mr. Hanky: "Hiiiiiiiidey ho!"

Kyle: "Holy crap, dude!"

Satan: "Prepare to enter thy house of pain!"

Mr. Garrison: "Hey, hurry up in there."

Kyle: "Kick ass, dude!"

Stan: "Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You bastards!"

Stan: "Okay, so it's decided. When the clock hits 8:35, we all stand up on our desks, pull down our pants, and yell, 'Kiss my ass!' "

Cartman: "Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut-sack and blow your balls all over your panties!"

Stan: "Jesus, Cartman."

Cartman: "You guys are all such pussies!"

Stan: "Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman has!"

Kyle: "Hepatitis B?"

Cartman: "No, dick-hole. Four tickets, 28th row, for the Raging Pussies!"

Kyle: "You got Raging Pussies tickets?"

Stan: "We're going tomorrow night!"

Cartman: "Respect my authori-tie!"

Cartman: "Screw you guys. I'm going home."

Bus driver: "Sit down and shut up!"

Mr. Garrison: "Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up!"

Mr. Garrison: "Today is a very special day."

Mr. Garrison: "You can just suck my balls."

Mr. Garrison: "Suck my balls!"

Cartman: "Suck my balls!"

Mr. Mackey: "I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, mkay?"

Mr. Garrison: "Do you need to sit in time-out for a few minutes?"

Kyle: "Holy God, dude!"

Kenny: "<muffled> Her titties are f***in' huge!"

Stan: "Together we are strong!"

Kids: "Yeah!"

Cartman, tauntingly: "You got in trouble! You got in trouble!"

Cartman: "Oh, here comes the unholy butt-hole now."

Mr. Garrison: "Uh, what's your name again?"

Mr. Garrison: "And where are you from, Damien?"

Damien: "The seventh layer of Hell!"

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, that's exciting -- my mother was from Alabama."