Television:
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Music intro to Hawaii Five-O.

Minnie Pearl: "How-dee!!" (Hee Haw)

Michael Conrad: "All right, let's roll... Hey... Let's be careful out there." (Hill Street Blues)

Michael Conrad: "All right, that's it, let's roll ... And hey, hey, hey, hey!... Let's be careful out there." (Hill Street Blues)

Werner Klemperer as Colonel Klink: "I warn you – we have ways to make you talk." (Hogan's Heroes)

John Banner as Sgt. Schultz: "I know nothing! Nothing!" (Hogan's Heroes)

The first 8.1 seconds of the theme for I Dream of Jeannie.

Barbara Eden blinking. (I Dream of Jeannie)

Barbara Eden as Jeannie: "Hello, Master." (I Dream of Jeannie)

Bill Bixby: "Don't make me angry... You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." (The Incredible Hulk)

Jackie Gleason: "How sweet it is!" (The Jackie Gleason Show)

Alex Trebek: "Here is today's Final Jeopardy answer."

Sfx: Chime!

Sfx: Jetsons' car coming in for a landing.

Sfx: Jetsons' doorbell ringing.

Rosie: "Mail call." (The Jetsons)

George O'Hanlon as George Jetson: "Oh, no, I pressed the wrong button again." (The Jetsons)

Music stinger.

Announcer: "Jonny Quest."

Different music sfx. (Jonny Quest)

David Spade as Dennis Finch: "Maybe... twice as sweet as no, half as good as yes." (Just Shoot Me)

David Spade: "Ya don't want this gettin' into the wrong hands." (Just Shoot Me)

Dale Gribble: "Guns don't kill people... the government does." (King of the Hill) -- Thanks, Naomi and Caleb.

Hill: "Somebody wants their big butt kicked." (King of the Hill)

Hill: "Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talkin'." (King of the Hill)

William Daniels as the voice of KITT: "I am the Knight Industries 2000. My serial number is Alpha Delta 227529. I am unauthorized to allow access to my central processing unit." (Knight Rider)

Master Po: "Do you hear the grasshopper, which is at your feet?"

Cain: "Old man, how is it that you hear these things?"

Master Po: "Young man, how is it that you do not?" (Kung Fu)

Lily Tomlin: "How may I, in all humble servitude, be of assistance?" (Laugh-In)

George Kennedy: "You bet your sweet bippy!" (Laugh-In)

Flip Wilson?: "If your lawyer's sleepin', better give 'im a nudge. Everybody look alive 'cause here come the judge!"

Singers: "Here come the judge! Here come the judge!" (Laugh-In)

Outcue music. (Laugh-In)

Segue music. (Laugh-In)

Lily Tomlin: "Uh, gracious good afternoon. This is Miss Tomlin of the telephone company. Do I have the party to whom I am speaking?" (Laugh-In)

Segue SFX from Law & Order.

Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy: "I see you're hurting. So I wanna say this to you, and I wanna say it sincerely... Blah blah." (Married... With Children)

Ed O'Neill: "Ah, home sweet hell!" (Married...With Children)

Ed O'Neill: "Unzip it." (Married... With Children)

Ted Knight: "It's a long way to Tipperary... It's a long way to go. This is Ted Baxter saying good night and good news." (from the final episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show)

Voice on P.A. system: "Attention... Attention." (M*A*S*H)

David Ogden Stiers as Major Charles Emerson Winchester: "Get me the hell out of here!" (M*A*S*H)

Harry Morgan as Colonel Potter: "Horse hockey!" (M*A*S*H)

Gary Burghoff as Radar O'Reilly: "Uh, mail call, Sir." (M*A*S*H)

Singer: "Here I come to save the day!" (Mighty Mouse)

A portion of the theme music from Mission: Impossible.

Voice on audio tape: "Good morning, Mr. Phelps." (Mission: Impossible)

Voice on audio tape: "This tape will self-destruct in five seconds." (Mission: Impossible)

Allan "Rocky" Lane as the voice of Mister Ed: "Hello. I'm Mister Ed."

Allan Lane: "Heh, heh, heh! I know something you don't know!" (Mister Ed)

Robin Williams as Mork from Ork: "Nanoo-nanoo." (Mork and Mindy)

Robin Williams: "Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson." (Mork and Mindy)

Robin Williams: "Shazbot." (Mork and Mindy)

Candice Bergen: "May I suggest you go poof yourself." (Murphy Brown)

First few bars of the theme song from the old National Geographic specials.

NBC chimes.

Announcer: "The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC."

Bob Newhart: "Meow."

Barbra Streisand: "Hello, Gorgeous." (Speaking to the Academy Award she'd just won)

Bob Hope: "Welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it's known at my house -- Passover."

Announcer: "You are about to experience the awe and mystery that reaches from the inner mind to... the Outer Limits."

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